Lately, I’ve just wanted to write. I’ve just wanted to write down whatever I’m feeling and thinking and experiencing. I think that this is a good thing, that I don’t have that crazy terrible writer’s block that existed for so long. It’s exciting, because I can get to work on things that need to be worked on – this blog, Alerion, the three papers that I have to write this weekend, etc.
It’s made me wonder, though: why now? Why, all of a sudden, after so long, am I suddenly inspired? Maybe it’s because my grad school applications are done and in, maybe it’s because I can see the grass again and I’m happy that spring is coming, maybe it’s because creativity is a cyclical thing. Who knows. I’m pretty sure it’s not the grad school application option, because I’m starting to realize that it’s only more stressful once the applications are done and in and you’ve already received one rejection and haven’t heard a peep from the other five schools except for a friendly letter from one to tell you that they can’t find any of your supplemental materials. Yeah. I’ve been so worried sick over my future that I haven’t slept well in weeks and nothing even tastes good to me anymore. (ETA: well, I just got off the phone with the very friendly folks at CUA. They managed to find two of my letters and my GRE scores – but one letter is still missing. I wonder if he even sent it. I think I may just ask another professor to write it for me. But I definitely feel better – sometimes raising a fuss may actually pay off, I guess).
Anyway, sorry for the random tangent about grad school. It’s all I can think about lately, so it’s no surprise that I can’t even write an entry without talking about it. But for whatever reasons, I’m so very pleased that I have the motivation to write again. I also think once you get started, it’s easier to keep going (at least, that’s how it’s seeming right now). I went from not writing anything for months to re-writing the first chapter of Alerion and three blog posts this week. Unlike the past year, I’m starting to realize that I do have something to say (most days, anyway). The papers that I’ve been working on are starting to be a little easier to finish, and the ones that I need to start don’t seem so daunting.
I’m loving this.
I’m hoping that I didn’t just jinx myself by writing about how good it feels to have something to write about. 😛